Monday, November 12, 2012

Touring Daddy

My husband is following his dream and just started school to be a tour guide. Israel is a beautiful country topographically and has history that dates thousands of years back. 5 years ago my husband enrolled in the course but dropped out because among other reasons, we wanted to start a family and I wanted him home so it wasn't the perfect time. Now that we have a baby, it isn't exactly the greatest time for him to be going into such a demanding profession, but guiding people around Israel is something he's very passionate about and something he will be phenomenal at, so we are willing to make the sacrifice financially and as a family. The course runs for 2 academic years. During that time, my husband will be touring on and off with his class. I feel that this course will be more of a sacrifice for me than for my husband.

Nearly 11 months old, Naama is crawling around so fast that I feel that I can't be alone with her safely. I will need help when my husband won't be home, which makes me sad because I feel like I'm going backward in my independence with Naama. Today just proved that I need more help than I think I do with Naama. Lately it seems my little princess has turned into a little terrorist when it comes to changing, dressing and putting her in the stroller. Sometimes during changing and dressing time she will roll around and get all fidgety, even when I give her a toy. I can usually get her under control to finish changing her. But on hard days like today, I'm in pain from bending over her for so long it makes it hard to breathe, so it's really not fun when she throws her head back and arcs her back because she refuses to sit in the stroller and I need the stroller to transport her around the house. Today I fought her for nearly 20 minutes before giving up. She was crying hysterically and I was fed up fighting with her, so I just picked Naama up under her arms and walked with her from my bedroom down the hall to the living room and put her on her floormats. I walked with her in my arms because I had no choice. I think it's foolish of me to attempt it again. Doggie needed to go out desperately but Naama still wasn't cooperating. After another 30 minute attempt, I finally got her in the stroller and out we went.
All this made me realize I need help even if it's just for an hour in the morning when my husband will be out the door before Naama wakes up. Once a week he will be touring for a full day. There will be overnight tours sporadically, but Mary Poppins will be sleeping here on those nights so I'm not alone and so she can help me if Naama wakes in the middle of the night.

My mother convinced me to put Naama in daycare so she has the interaction she seems to crave because she loves other babies but I know the real reason is because my mother and truthfully me too are scared for Naama's safety, on the days my husband will be gone all day, especially after I fell for no apparent reason the other night. I rarely fall these days. My mother who was visiting,was holding Naama, and when I fell Naama started to cry, which my mother found very interesting. My mother thinks Naama is an old soul:) My fall kind of sealed the deal as far as my mother was concerned, so Naama started daycare today.
Naama with daycare lady

It was so weird not having Naama around the house. On one hand it was good because it gave me time to do things like eat and clean the apartment. On the other hand I missed my baby. I felt an actual ache because she wasn't with me. When I put her in the daycare and kissed her goodbye, she was totally fine. She didn't even notice I left. It was weird being alone with my husband at home. It felt like the time before we had Naama...As pickup time neared, I was literally watching the clock for like 10 min anxiously waiting for it to hit 4pm so I could pick up my princess. I was so excited to go get her that I felt a little silly.

When I walked into the daycare, I saw Naama sitting on the daycare lady's lap. Naama was eating a cracker and her little mouth was so full of cracker that her cheeks were all puffed out and her jaw was getting a workout with all that chewing! It was such a cute sight that I wish I had recorded it. The second Naama saw me, she reached for me. I sat down and held Naama and gave her a billion kisses, I really didnt think I'd miss her so much for a few hours. Naama looked at me, pulled at the neck of my shirt and peered inside as if to say hey mommy where's my lunch?! I was told Naama played nicely with the others and had a good time. Maybe it is a good idea to put her in daycare a few hours each day even on the days both of us are home....

Monday, November 5, 2012

Picture Perfect

Today was anything but perfect. I finally organized a cleaning lady and she didn't show because she lost her keys, so my house stayed messy and dishes undone until Naama napped, but she didnt nap=(. I was exhausted from being on mommy duty all day and then my husband told me he had to go to Jerusalem for a few hours.

Camp mommy ain't over yet!

When I'm alone with Naama I always have to think one step ahead. Sometimes, like today, it gets really tiring doing things the long way by putting her in the stroller to get around the house, moving around furniture to transfer Naama safely if I'm not putting her in the stroller, and having to get all her changing stuff and put it on our bed instead of her changing table because it's safer to change her on the bed. Sometimes I just want to take a shortcut and walk with Naama in my arms from point A to point B, but I'm not willing to put her safety at risk. However, when she crawls away from her floor mats, I do pick her up and walk her back over to her mats. Short distances I can do, but I'm not willing to do more than that because I'm scared I'll trip and fall. Because things take longer to do when I'm alone with Naama, she definitely cries more out of frustration, so that's difficult for me.

Once my husband left for Jerusalem, I put Naama in her Go Around Activity Center and started to do the mountain of dishes. I LOVE this toy! It keeps her busy and more importantly it keeps her contained!

Occasionally I give her a napkin she can tear to her heart's delight. She loves that.
After awhile Naama started to get fussy and wanted to eat. As I walked toward her, I stepped on some Cheerios Naama had thrown on the floor. I groaned but then thought what's a few crushed cheerios when the house was already a mess?? Doggie came over and inhaled the rest of the cereal:) Doggie loves eating whatever she drops and with the amount he eats, I feel like I buy cheerios for Doggie instead of Naama.

I wasn't in the mood to take Naama out of her toy, put her in her stroller and take her out once I got to the couch to nurse her and I had a feeling Naama wasn't going to have patience for that either, so I slowly dragged a standing Naama in the Go Around toy to the couch. Naama's cry turned into a wail with tears and I immediately had an image of Fred Flinstone starting his car with his feet, which is kind of what Naama ended up doing as I dragged the toy. I think I hurt her little feet by possibly dragging the toy too fast. My heart broke to see her tears, but dragging her over was faster than putting her in stroller. As Naama saw me getting ready to nurse, she reached for me as if to say please mommy take me out of my prison, I need you. But even when Naama is crying to nurse, I set myself up with the computer first so I can watch TV. Since Naama usually falls asleep while she nurses, I didn't want to spend who knows how long staring at the wall while I nursed and there's only so long I can stare at my baby's face as cute as she is. I worked as fast as I could and I sat down to nurse her. I checked her little feet for any damage, gave them kisses and within 5 minutes she nursed to sleep and it looked like she was out for the night.

Shortly afterwards, my husband texted me that he was almost home. I hoped he had taken his key.
Unfortunately my husband didn't have his key. Doggie heard my husband at the door and barked, waking Naama from a deep sleep. Because she was still half asleep, Naama was all confused when I went to put her down on the floor to get the door. I can't walk with her in my arms because I'm afraid I'll trip and fall. What followed were the most heartbreaking but most delicious 15 minutes ever. Every time I tried to put Naama on the floor, she cried and grabbed at my shirt with her little hands, clinging to me for dear life. My husband texted me that he needed the bathroom. I felt so bad. I couldn't let him in. Of course Naama chooses this time to be extra clingy! She kept snuggling her small body into mine. she didn't want me to let her go. Doggie continued to bark and then whine which I realized really scared Naama because she was confused as to  why Doggie was barking and she didn't know why mommy wanted to put her on a cold, hard floor instead of snuggling with her.

Eventually, I was able to open the door for my husband. Naama was screaming on the floor, but I had no choice but to pry her from me and leave her on the floor. Thankfully afterward Naama and Doggie were happy again=)