Tuesday, December 18, 2012

1st Birthday!

                                      Today my baby you are 1!!

What a roller coaster, life changing year this has been. It has certainly been the best year of my life, and definitely the most challenging year thus far. You have taught me that I am more capable than I ever thought possible.

Sometimes I still can't believe you are mine. You are picture perfect and physically I'm not. Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for someone to pinch me and wake me up from a beautiful dream. Me, the slow person who always fell, who many people, including myself doubted, have you, a beautiful, healthy and very smart baby girl. I often will stop and stare at you and just shake my head in wonderment at the miracle that you are. Every time I look at your beautiful angelic face with your deep blue eyes, I fall in love all over again.

When I learned what the date of your birth would be, you, me and of course Doggie, were happily tanning in the winter sun. You moved to the center of my belly and snuggled there. I loved feeling you move. I dozed off, happily thinking we had at least a month more to go before you arrived. When your father interrupted our tanning session to tell me you would be born in two weeks, I panicked. I wasn't ready to become a mother yet! I didn't know squat about babies and the house wasn't set up! Aside from that, I was having a beautiful pregnancy and I loved having you live in my belly. I wasn't ready to evict you yet! 2 weeks wasn't enough time! Where was the pause button?! I wasn't ready!

Now that you are here, I love you more than I ever imagined I could. We have shared an incredible first year together. We've had amazing highs and pretty crappy lows. 
The cord which bound us may be gone, but you are always connected to me. When you see me fall and you give a scared cry, I'm always amazed that you realize mommy shouldn't be on the floor and that you cry because you are concerned for me. Every time we share a smile or you hug me with your little baby arms and give me yummy kisses, and even when you kiss mommy's scrapes,
I feel on top of the world and I'm always amazed that you are mine...

The beginning was a little rough on mommy. Like I said, I didn't know anything about babies! When we took you for your first vaccination and they asked me for a diaper after you were weighed, I looked at the nurse, blinked and said "ummm..." I couldn't believe I didn't bring anything to change you with! I totally thought they would provide diapers! You can bet I never forgot a diaper or wipes again! But I did forget other stuff=) Every time we went out for the day, I always forgot something, whether it was a hat, water in the scorching summer heat, or enough food on long journeys. I think the worst was not having enough food when we were out for a whole day. I kept forgetting that you're not such a baby anymore and you need REAL food. We ended up having to stop and get you schwarma and hummus! I will never forget the look on the waitresses face when I told her I was ordering schwarma, hummus and salads for my baby!
You may eat real food, but at night when it's just you and me as I nurse you to sleep, you are my baby again.

You are growing and developing so fast that we are looking for that pause button, but life doesn't have one of those.  
You love music. I love watching you move your little body up and down to a tune. When I was pregnant with you, every time I was near music, you started to dance in my belly. Maybe you will be a dancer one day...
We invested so  much in you this first year, but your first word wasn't mama or dada, it was dog! You LOVE Doggie and even though he seems annoyed or intimidated by you, he loves you too, especially when you give him your food.

It seems like it was only yesterday you were born and I held you for the first time. I cant believe a whole year has gone by! To celebrate, your grandfather Stephen flew in from Australia to meet you for the first time. We had a small birthday party for you at home. I baked a cake for you and your father even gave you a little bit of whiskey which you actually liked!

Happy 1st birthday my baby. Here's to many more happy, healthy years. I love you.