For 3 days Naama stayed home alone with me. I didn't have help until the evening. Those 3 days were the most precious days and I will remember them for a long time. Even though Naama was still feverish, she was coming back to herself and she started eating a bit. During lunch, I played a few games with her and she fed me some of her food. At one point Naama started spraying soup from her lips which made her laugh hysterically. I tried disciplining her about spraying soup, but her laughter was so infectious I started laughing too...to hell with discipline! playing and laughing was way more fun! After lunch we played on her floor mats. Naama accidentally hit me in the face with a toy. When I said ow, she looked up and hugged me. It was the best feeling ever! My Naama is such a girl. She loves shoes and kept putting her little feet out so I could put them on. We walked hand in hand for a few steps and then returned to her mats. She picked up her hairbrush and instead of brushing her hair she brushed mine=) I have a feeling Naama will be my best friend when she's older.
After playing awhile, Naama started getting tired. She is so light that I picked her up, held her to me and walked with her down the hall to her room. I had never carried her before for fear that having her weight on me would cause me to lose my balance and fall. When I realized that I had just walked with Naama in my arms with her head resting on my shoulder with her little baby arms wrapped around me, I almost cried. It was the most deliciously warm feeling. Whenever I had to pick her up and carry her a short distance, I usually picked her up under her arms, holding her body away from mine as I carried her from point A to point B. It was cold, detached... I was getting something done. Holding Naama against my body as I walked with her was the complete opposite. I don't remember why I decided at just that moment to carry her against me for the first time and I only became aware of what I was doing once I set her gently down in her crib for a nap. I have carried her against me a few more times since then. It's so much easier than having to make sure the stroller wheels are wiped down and maneuvering the stroller through the apartment. Carrying Naama is also much better than having her crawl on a cold floor to get to her destination. It's weird because I'm so sure footed and careful when I'm carrying Naama it amazes me. It's almost like I'm two different people. On my own I fall. Holding her NEVER....thankfully. Despite this,I know carrying Naama isn't the safest thing to do so I still use the stroller to transport her around the apartment.
Naama is becoming very attached to me now. When my help arrived in the evening, Naama kept pointing to me instead of wanting to be with the mother's helper whom she knows well. We shared such a beautiful few days together that part of me didn't want to send Naama back to daycare. I know it's good for her to be around other children, but I wasn't ready to send her back. However with Passover fast approaching, I had to run a few errands today and I couldn't take her with me so I put her in the daycare. Naama had such a confused look on her face when I dropped her off. I felt terrible for leaving her but I physically wasn't able to take her with me to run errands. I promised to make it as fast as possible.
When I got home a few hours later, I was really tired...guess all the sleepless nights were finally catching up with me. I lay down for what I told myself was a half hour nap. Two hours later I woke to Doggie barking incessantly. I looked at my watch realizing I should have picked Naama up an hour ago! I threw on my clothes and ran to open the door for the mother's helper. As I was rushing out the door, a little girl came up to me and asked in Hebrew if I had any food products to give away. I was still half asleep and my mind was having trouble understanding her, so I told her to come back. Now in more of a rush, I raced through the park with Naama's empty stroller. I got a few stares from the kids in the park and I wondered if I had forgotten to put a piece of clothing on or something, but I quickly realized they were staring at me because of my funny walk. Continuing towards the daycare, I saw the daycare lady standing outside holding Naama. I felt so bad and apologized for being so late. As soon as she saw me, Naama broke into a huge smile and pointed at me. I pointed back. I missed my tiny friend.