Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Seasons of change

WOW does time fly!! I can't believe this is my first post in over a month! I wouldve posted sooner, but mommy was too busy being Naama's 24/7 entertainment center! Well...that and the fact that Naama will often be hogging my computer to watch her Gigglebellies videos!! But thank God that at 6 months she is thriving in every way, but man can that baby tire me out with the things I do for her. I'll dance the hokey pokey in my bra right after she eats just to keep her happy and let me tell you, dancing the hokey pokey looks even funnier when you have Cerebral Palsy=) I'll read Naama books and make funny animal sounds, I'll headbang to music till I'm dizzy because mommy throwing her hair around gets Naama laughing hysterically. Naama also realizes she's now much closer to mommy's hair to give a nice yank! Sure I'm tired of constantly being on, but how can I stop when I get smiles like this?

Naama is sprouting like a bean stalk! In May, I put away all Naama's newborn and winter clothing. It was nostalgic and crazy to realize how fast time flew! My baby was so teeny when she was born, weighing only 5.5 lbs. Now she weighs almost 15.5 lbs!! I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy that my beautiful daughter is thriving, but sad that the teeny tiny stage is over. I looked at some of her newborn clothing and wondered how she ever fit in such teeny clothing!

Naama's growth isnt the only thing moving at a rapid pace. Naama is constantly moving her arms and legs and is a very inquisitive little person. On May 15th, Naama rolled over from her back to her stomach and once she started she didn't stop! In one day Naama rolled over 3 times!

I was very happy for my baby. She rolled over, but for me it was all over! In that instant, I realized I couldn't be alone with Naama the way I was before. When I didn't have consistent help for a week I managed to care for her all on my own, but then, Naama was happy going from the swing to the stroller. Now she loved moving around. Not wanting to inhibit my baby, I wanted her to have as much freedom as possible which meant a lot of time on the floor on her tummy or back so she could wriggle, roll and scoot backwards on her back. I can sit on the floor, but manuvering around is difficult and painful with my bad knee, so I had help for about a week until the girl who was helping me didn't turn up and left me in a jam. I decided to put Naama on her tummy time mat on the couch instead of the floor and it worked just fine!

Now I have Mary Poppins 3 mornings a week so I can get stuff done. and the other times I am on my own with Naama. Now that I'm a mother, it's almost like I possess a strength I never knew I had. When I lift or pass my baby from surface to surface, I just know I'm NOT going to drop her. Often, I will pass Naama from surface to surface while standing because it's actually easier and more stable for me to transfer her while standing instead of sitting like I used to. Sometimes when I am trying to lift Naama from her tummy time mat or get her into a burping position, I will do it by feel and not by sight. My eyes are open, but I'm not looking at her, I'm concentrating on the feeling: My hands, my fingers, my grip and her body movements. When others care for her, I watch them fairly closely because I want to see if I can do what they are doing. I realized that not only can I do what they are doing, but often I can do a better job.

With my confidence level increasing, I wanted to try and pick Naama up from her bed. I hated that each morning I couldn't just lift her up and smooch her smiling face. I had to wait for my husband to bring her to me so I could feed her. One morning I decided I was going to try and take her out of her bassinet. I waited for Mary Poppins to arrive before attempting to lift Naama. Whenever I do something with Naama for the first time, I make sure someone else is around. I'm always up for a challenge, I just go about it the safe way when it comes to my baby.

Operation remove from bassinet here we go!!

Mary Poppins was encouraging me and guiding me through the process. Here Mary poppins was telling me to turn my body toward my bed
I was a little nervous. can you tell?
I just had to sneak in a smooch!
And we landed!! safely

Nelson Mandela once said everything seems impossible until it's done. this phrase perfectly describes what I'm dealing with stage by stage as my daughter grows and develops.When push comes to shove, I realize I can do something which was once impossible.

On May 21st, Naama and I were at my grandmother's apartment. My grandmother wasn't home yet so my uncle let us in. Before leaving he asked if I needed help. Everything was fine with Naama so I said no. Of course 5 minutes after my uncle walked out the door Naama made an explosive poop! I was able to change her diaper, but her onezie needed changing as well which was something I couldn't do because I didnt know how to work with both hands and lift her head at the same time. Usually I had someone to change her into a new outfit, but I was all alone. How hard could this be? I'd seen it done countless times before. I can do this. I automatically put my good hand under her head to lift. Right away I realized it was all wrong. My left hand which is my weaker hand was already under her neck and for some reason I felt more stable lifting her head with my bad hand. I slowly lifted her neck and with my right hand I reached over and pulled the onezie over her head! I just stared at Naama in disbelief. i did it! I put on her onezie!! I just reached the point where I could now be completely independent to care for Naama! Cerebral Palsy be damned!! But my joy was short lived because Naama was crying. She was HUNGRY! Now I had to figure out how I was going to nurse her by myself.At home I had my setup so I could nurse her on my own on one side and just pump the other. Being in a different environment was a bit tricky to figure out how I was going to feed her. I quickly finished dressing her and lay beside her on the bed to nurse. Laying on my left side was a struggle to get my nipple into her mouth. Naama was becoming hysterical and I was trying not to cry myself. I had to figure this out now. I quickly went to the other side of the bed and voila! Naama latched on right away. What a relief!! We lay there together for awhile. When she was done I put her back in her stroller and wheeled her to the living room. shortly afterwards my grandmother walks in...of course!

I left Naama with my grandmother and headed to my doctor's appointment. Following a somewhat painful visit, my doctor called me a hero. I smiled. Physical pain didn't make me feel like a hero. Overcoming challenges with Naama makes me feel like a hero=)